Handling Panic in a Productive Way
Being overwhelmed and panicking happens to all of us. We must learn how to manage panic and handle it productively.
But when you are in the middle of a full-blown panic, those ways are difficult to see.
You see, it’s not that what has happened isn’t big. It may be earth-shattering. Or it may have been just one thing too many.
But here you are. Struggling to breathe.
This kind of panic happened to me yesterday, and I called my friend. Completely overwhelmed and in panic mode.
She talked me off the ledge. And I would like to pass her advice on to you. Just in case you need it.
Admit the issue. The whole issue. There’s a reason behind your panic.
Identify the monster in the closet. It’s there. And it’s real. However, taking it out and examining it gives us some idea of the magnitude of the problem.
Finding a safe person to talk to about what is going on is essential. God gives us community for that reason.
But don’t overlook the value of prayer. Staying in a constant spirit of prayer will help you make wiser choices when life is tough.
When you can see the entire picture clearly, you will be able to make the decisions you need to.
Sometimes we panic because an aggressive person has accused us of something.
Their condemnation of us has been without compassion or understanding.
As a single Mom, I live in a state of being constantly behind in some area. There is not enough of me to go around.
I see the problems, but I can’t get there yet. This alone gives some people a reason to accuse.
Some people who thrive on perfectionism and tend to be self-righteous may be your accuser.
They fail to see that if they were in your shoes, they probably would be making the same choices. But they are unable to grasp or acknowledge that understanding.
They may tell you that you don’t make good choices. And this condemnation sends you farther into despondency, because you’ve been trying.
My wise friend told me not to pick up their condemnation. They have a long history of self-righteousness and harshness.
The problem exists, but some people exacerbate it by condemning you and judging you harshly.
You need to step over that mess and leave it on the floor. Do not even go there.
We all have our issues. But do not pick up and engage in someone else’s harsh judgments and condemnation.
Consider whether your panic is recurring or a short-term situation.
Many of us can cope with short-term situations. Although it may be tough, through prayer, counseling, and other self-care techniques, we can get through them.
However, if there is an ongoing or recurring panic, you will need to address it.
It’s possible that you can identify it immediately.
The issue may be financial or related to a specific person.
Identifying what could make this better is vital. You may not even be able to get to that place yet, but at least you know what would make this better.
Write down what would change your situation, even if it seems far-fetched.
You may not even know how to change your situation or how to get from point A to point B, but write it down.
This simple act serves as a starting point.
Yes, there will be a hundred things that have to happen to make this possible. But at least you have a starting point.
Place the ultimate solution at the top of your page, and list all of the things that have to happen below it.
You will be surprised at how this gives you a clearer vision.
Begin to take baby steps. Pray through each step. If you have children, review how each step will affect them.
If you know what will bring relief, then start putting those things into place.
Try to maintain peaceful feelings with as many people as possible. Change is hard for everyone.
At this point, you are playing the long game. It will take you time to get these things in place.
(Please note that if you or your children are in an abusive situation, there are steps to be taken immediately.) You can find help here:
If you are in a safe place, then start making calls and doing research.
Changing things may mean a move or a job change.
If you are a single Mom, there is a lot of help out there for you. https://nationalreliefprogram.org/government-assistance-for-single-mothers/
Break down these steps. It’s one small step at a time.
My best friend has a saying. “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. That’s what we’re doing here.
Expect things to get messy. Change may not be easy, but it is achievable.
When you start taking these small steps, you may encounter some backlash. People may be used to walking over you or around you.
They may feel uncomfortable when you start to reclaim your power.
You’ve heard the saying, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.”
Now is the time to bring about some minor changes. And these changes may be complicated and inconvenient. These changes may be uncomfortable for the people around you.
Schedules, finances, and relationships will likely become somewhat chaotic. But that’s okay.
These steps are a process.
When you get into your ideal situation, you can adjust and repair these situations. But for a little while, things will be messy and complicated.
By acknowledging what needs to happen and by taking baby steps toward that, the panic you feel will begin to decrease.
Someday, you will look back on this time from a place of safety and healing. This will be a story of redemption and hope.
For now, start making small changes. It’s one step at a time. One day at a time.
Prayers for your journey, my friend.
For other steps of hope, please read this previous post.
https://www.singlemomoutwest.com/encouragement-for-single-moms-of-faith/
