Pro’s and Con’s of Living With Family as a Single Parent
There are pros and cons of living with family as a single parent. It may be an excellent idea, but one should consider it with caution.
Each family will have different dynamics, but some situations will occur simply because there is more than one family in a home.
Please consider the various challenges of living with family members, as these situations will inevitably arise at some point. However, the degree to which it affects you will be different.
Depending on the family’s health, it can range from a serious danger to only a slight annoyance.
The following are the potential disadvantages that single parents may encounter when living with family members.
Disadvantages of living with family as a single parent:
You will experience a lack of privacy while living with family members as a single parent.
When you live with others, they have direct access to whatever is happening within your life and the lives of your children.
In short, “they will be all up in your business!” Financial, parenting, dating, and typical childish behavior that will occur with your children.
Even if you have a great relationship with a family member, close quarters can still cause tension.
Disagreements will occur, and the extent to which you can resolve them with your family member will guide you on whether living with them is a good idea.
They and you will have specific faults and quirks that the other person may find hurtful or annoying.
If the family member you’re considering living with has, shall we say, “strong opinions about your life”, you may be better off running in the other direction or simply giving a polite no, thank you.
If the person you are considering living with is easy-going and keeps to themselves, you might want to consider the following:
You will also be exposed to a lack of privacy when the person you are living with has guests.
And they may be the people who have “strong opinions about your life.”
When you live with others, you invite every person who struggles with self-righteousness, arrogance, harshness, and criticism into your living room.
And here’s the issue: you can’t get away from them. You can limit them. But you can’t get away from them, because this is not your house.
If you get the flu and are unable to clean the house for a couple of days, these people will notice and judge. I don’t say this to scare you, but to warn you.
If you have a very healthy family and friends, this may never be an issue. But consider it, because once you’re there, it’s tough to get out.
You may experience a decreased ability to focus on meeting the needs of your children and yourself.
Consider that when you live with family members as a single parent, certain things are going to be required of you.
You may need to focus on what the homeowner wants you to do.
Living with family may require caretaking of an older adult or another person’s children.
When you focus your time and energy on what they want you to do, you have less time and energy to improve your financial and living situation.
I’m not against living with others as a single parent. But I’ve seen this become an issue that was not ideal for either side.
The single parent may end up feeling trapped and taken advantage of, and the other party may become embittered because they think the single parent is not living up to the standards they have for them.
Please decide first if living with family is safe, meaning there is no issue of abuse or people actively involved in any kind of addiction, such as pornography or chemical abuse.
And secondly, consider if your children and you will be treated with compassion and kindness by anyone they come in contact with at home.
If you’re entering a positive situation, living with family may be an excellent option for you.
Here are the pros of living with family as a single parent.
Living with family members may provide you with extras that you would not be able to have in a single-parent household.
These extras may include finances, time, and support.
As a single parent, you are responsible for everything. And that can be very overwhelming, especially at first.
If you have a very healthy and kind family member who can help you carry some of these burdens, you may find this situation beneficial!
For more information on how to support the single mom in your life, please refer to this earlier post.
https://www.singlemomoutwest.com/help-the-single-mom/
Living with family members as a single parent may provide extra support.
As a single parent, you and your children may have gone through trauma.
If this family member helps you feel safe and loved, that may be precisely what you need at this time.
Living with family after a season of loss may also be beneficial. Having one more person to engage with in a fun and loving way can be encouraging, especially for children.
Family members may be able to provide you with the gift of time and childcare when needed.
My folks were able to help out in this regard when I first became a single mom, and it made all the difference!
If you are considering attending college to increase your earnings, this may also be beneficial. Please consider this post.
https://www.singlemomoutwest.com/college-may-be-a-great-option-for-single-moms/
They may also be able to help with childcare while you work.
A trusted family member can help guide you in a way that brings safety and wisdom to your family.
When I first became a single mom, I was a mess. The decisions I was making were anything but wise.
I was trying, but I couldn’t seem to make basic, healthy choices. Here is another area where my folks helped out.
Many decisions as a single parent hold a lot of weight! These are the decisions that need a level head, and if you have gone through trauma, you may need to run these ideas off a trusted family member.
For more on this, please consider this post.
https://www.singlemomoutwest.com/decision-making-for-single-moms/
Deciding whether to live with a family as a single parent is not a decision to be taken lightly.
All families can be loved and respected, but there may be family members with whom single parents should not live.
If you are considering living with family members, please write down a plan.
Ask yourself the following questions.
- How long will I live with the family member?
- How can I improve my financial situation and living standards for the future?
- What will boundaries look like while I live here?
- Is this what is truly in the best interest of my children and me?
Living with a family member as a single parent may honestly be what you need to do right now. But don’t forget to look ahead to the future.
You might want to live differently in a year or two. Please keep these thoughts in mind as you make your plan!
Prayers for your journey,
Lacey
