How to Overcome Times of Chaos and Retake Control

Occasionally, chaos hits this family hard, and I wonder why and what I can do to improve things. I might even Google, “How to regain control of your life?”

I’d rather not create chaos with my own behavior. I should know better!

My dad was in the Navy. And that is the only logical conclusion I can come up with as to why I have watched Mutiny on the Bounty too many times. Most normal people have never seen this movie. There is a reason for this.

So, you don’t have to spend three hours watching a movie that appeals only to sailors. I will sum it up. Here we go.

There is a ridiculous Captain who gives his crew ample reason for becoming disagreeable and overtaking the ship.

(I think a woman should have been there to make them walk the plank, but it’s not my story.)

Neither side was faultless, and both bore the consequences of their actions.

There, aren’t you glad that’s over?

And you’re wondering why on Earth I am talking about this? I’m glad you asked.

It’s what happened this week.

You can give it different titles. Mutiny. Anarchy. Chaos. An unraveling of the mind.

However, I believe mutiny is the best fit for my particular situation. No one listened to me. That includes the dogs. And the family has been in complete chaos.

I’m guessing I’m not the only one who struggles with this.

So, I thought I would take a closer look at this and see what I could do to improve my situation, hopefully yours.

Realize quitting isn’t the answer. Changing something may be, but quitting never is.

We have responsibilities. If we don’t do them, no one will. No one can take my place or yours.

We have God-given roles, and these kids depend on us for their well-being.

This is one of my favorite poems. You might need to hear this!

Look for the why.

What happened right before things felt out of control?

This may seem like a pointless step, but I’ve learned that at least acknowledging what happened gives us two benefits:

1. In my experience, there is usually a reason for things becoming completely unraveled. It helps us realize that this craziness may be a short-term situation. Maybe things were better a week ago?
2. Understanding how the family got into this situation helps us recognize what negatively impacts the family and gives us a chance to plan before it occurs again.

Before this week began, there was a time of crisis. Real heartache happened, and we were all dealing with raw emotions. That is important to remember.

Label the problem.

1. The house is out of control.
2. I’m stressed out about money.
3. I am entirely too busy.
4. I haven’t had a single moment of quiet.
5. Someone hurt my feelings, and I am so focused on that.
6. The dog refuses to listen, etc.

Labeling something makes it manageable. It may still be awful, but at least it’s been identified. And that gives us a place to start.

Separate yourself from the problem and identify what needs to change.

We are already overwhelmed and probably embarrassed about the chaos, so we need to step back from the situation.

What would you recommend if this were happening to someone else? To be honest, we may be too close to a problem.

Someone may have been able to tell me, Lacey. Breathe.

The kids are out of control because you have been so focused on the problem that you have failed to parent correctly.

Or they might have said these kids are out of control because they have also been hurt by what has occurred.

We may need to step back and see that Henry kicked the cat because his dad missed the visitation again. And his little heart is hurting.

Take baby steps, concrete baby steps. We will overcome this by taking one small step at a time.

1. Please write it down. Name the thing that has to change.
2. Break down into three steps that can help us regroup and move on.

Please keep it simple. We don’t want to get overwhelmed here. Acknowledge it and apply the three steps that move us forward.

The dog may get a behavior plan, and I might throw all the socks away. These are simple, concrete steps to take.

Revisit the issue in a week or two.

If things are calmer, you’ll know you’re on the right track. If the issue persists, revisit it.

Is there something you missed? Or another way to address the problem?

We don’t want to live lives of chaos.

If you continue to face the same problems and cannot find a solution, it may be time to find a licensed Christian counselor to process things.

Please consider reading the following post for more information on controlling your home environment.

Practical Routines for Busy Moms. Ways to Keep a Tidy Home. (singlemomoutwest.com)